I guess the dream is still there, but because of certain things that have happened. I had to put the dream a side to take care of other things in my life.
My biggest dream has always to become a collegebasketball coach with responsibiltys/speciality in individual training.
When I was 23 years old because of that I was unemployed I was able to get 6 months paid to work somewhere internationally all paid by the swedish goverment. I contacted a friend who was coaching at Louisiana Lafyette, sun belt conference in NCAA d1 and ask if he could ask the headcoach if they could use me for a season.
He said yes and everything was going as planned I got the "schoolership" so the money was reserved for me. Now all that was left was work VISA that the colllege had to apply for (28 A4 pages), once that was cleared I could apply for my personal VISA and that was only gonna take maximum 2 weeks (for my personal VISA).
The work VISA had no swedish got before 5 monts after it was applied for, but I was happy I could wait.
I had decided that I would never come back even if I had to live in boxes in the streets of USA.....I was confident that my skills, and knowledge of the game would lead to work opertunitys.
Then that happened that crushed my dream there was these guys that think they will make a better world by killing others and totally controlled by religion they have tunnelvision and brainwashed to the max they decided to fly planes into the world trade center and create total caos in the USA.
After 7 months of waiting for the work VISA I got a letter in my mail and it was the saddest day in my life until that point in my life. It said because that VISA has gone passed 6 months without being cleared they took back the money that was reserved for me.
I was crushed....totally and even the newspapers had knowledge of me going to college, so they had written about it in the biggest paper in the south of Sweden. The following months was some of the hardest months in my life.
Every week I got the question "Aint you in the USA?", "When do you leave for Louisiana?" and so on. I just wanted to hide, some weeks was so hard mentally I didn`t wanna face the outside world, but I did but with pain and headcaches.
Everybody that knows me knows what love I got for the greatest game, every player that I coaches have felt my love fro the game, but NOBODY could even if they tried to understand feel the pain I had after my chance got crushed by the terrorists. It was a chance that not many get and I had the chance without any money to get it paid and go to a respected school that always are top 3 in sun belt conference and play NIT.
Headcoach never had a loosing season I had a chance of a lifetime the learn, to live and to do what I wanted to do.
This is something that have haunted me for years and still do. But the terrorists killed my dream, but its starting to grow again slowly, slowly, so I guess they killed it but its resurrecting again.
Maybe in some years I will start chasing my biggest dream again and by then I hope all terrorists have been burried in cave.
Last saturday I got the news that one of my close basketballfriends suddenly died at his home to young only 44 years old. All of a sudden everything else feels totally unimportant.
RIP Anders "Ante" Erixon you truly loved the game and you where a great friend and I will miss extremelly much, I see you when I get there!